Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Spa Talent

The following was received  by junction point 234......... 
Narrow beam communication with no security priority.....
Believed to be some sort of 'light relief' for the admiralty....
Performance profile attached....

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Its cool warm Friday evening. We're sat in Conservative Cheltenham. Our ears are being assaulted in the only way new jazz knows how. It takes real concentration, I feel tired by it. Tired in the same way I'm tired by an intellectual Book or filtering through motorway traffic on a motorcycle. I love both. 
Dale
Campbell does this. He assembles some people who are a little outside of the everyday, people who somehow, through all the lack of grassroots in this pretty spa town, have actually done IT. Originality on a plate. Take it. Take them. Their yours.
So whats the
craic?
Ricky Tart is a stand up, rapping, dancing
smorgasbord of entertainment. The girls swoon. 
Fire In The Cave have a talented drummer, some sort of crazy evasive bass player and some bloke from the Guillemots. 
Dale Campbell does his familiar yet no less startling guitar assault.
The not quite quartet are Ricky and Dale. Ricky does the jokes, Dale wields his guitar.
Did you like that? Come to the Frog and Fiddle on the last Friday of every month. Its available for you delectation... 

There are no bones to be made. This is the new edge.

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Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Speaking

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Indeed it is difficult to swallow anything that comes forth from the lips of a man who openly denies the holocaust, sites the destruction of Israel as a central aim of his government and enforces an anti-liberal attitude on his population but...
The staged walk out of various 'western' delegates at the UN yesterday was one of (as the man himself put it); 
"Arrogance and selfishness"
For such an apparent extremist to begin his speech by not only praising Allah but also mentioning Abraham and Jesus the Christ was actually a nod of respect to those who stand in the other domains of Yahweh. It had been mooted that various delegates had threatened to walk out if The Bearded Man uttered a word out of turn. 
So, at a conference about racism  he decided to label the Israeli government racist.
Correct!
Give that man a prize!
Indeed it is no less racist than his very own government but as he later stated;
"...everybody must enjoy the right to freely express his or her opinions... we should not be intolerant of listening to the opinions of others...."
Surely that's what the UN is. A sort of international Parliament?
No?
Oh.
Then what is it?

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Wednesday, 8 April 2009

High Street Charity

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Things had not started well. An anxiety dream followed by waking up, having a nose bleed and banging my head on the bathroom door handle had led to the brewing of a foul mood. Bad news from the bank and shuffling savings into bills added to the sombre mood. Radio 4 spoke of children so badly raped that they themselves would never have children. I had left the house, walked down to the high street and been drag netted by the usual smiley, slightly bo-ho looking charity raisers. This time something within me gave in. I stood and listened to the insufferable evil that the everyday decides to impose on the poor in certain areas of Brazil. Frankly this type of charity hard selling irritates me. It is too smiley, too happy, too idealistic, naive, insert more of the same here...
But then...
The voice that says these things is the very apathy I rant about to others. The very antipathy of why I write this blog. I signed up. As I walked away I turned to see the girl who had sold me the charity smiling to herself. It could have been a quip by a colleague, it could have been the pleasure of the sell, but something deeper glowed from her face....

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Friday, 6 February 2009

Who Are You?

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So things are going pretty well. You've successfully beat off The Bear, you're economy is in pretty good shape and those that would see you dead are under you're military or commercial size tens. Then things take a turn. Some of those you trained to fight The Bear fly a plane , no sorry, 2 planes into your financial heart.
Sorry.
I'll try that again.
Some of those that you trained to fight The Bear train some further further people who then go and learn to fly in your back garden so that they can fly 4 planes into various soft spots around your infrastructure. Over night you are made to look slow, silly and more than a little bit open. So what do you do? Point the finger? Attack those that you believe to be responsible? The first problem you have is that those who attacked you represent not a country, but an ideal. How do you attack that?

So, due to those at the top of your administration being the sorts who "shoot from the hip" you find yourself invading not one but two countries in one of the most sensitive areas in the world. An area that cradled the 3 dominant religious ideals. An area that has seen no peace. An area that is a prime source of your energy needs. Nobody offers help. None of your allies are happy with this sticky state of affairs. No matter, you do it anyway and drag The Kingdom into the mix. They probably owe you a few anyway. 

So, the prisoners start pouring in. What do you do with them? Remember, you're angry. Remember those men and women at the top are black and white types. You start torturing them. Not enough of your people kick up a fuss. Apathy rules. You give those in charge of the "detention centres"  free reign to do as they will to get what they want. 
Then the those at the top are replaced. The new men and women at the top don't agree with the previous men and women's methods. Not only that but some very important people in The Kingdom have started pointing there fingers at you and your methods. You're starting to get annoyed. You might get a bit desperate...
Change has come and God may bless it but what will the CIA do?

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Thursday, 22 January 2009

Bad News for Lloyds

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Into WH Smiths, look at the headlines, get the papers, get the papers.
Tick.
Go to Tesco's buy washing powder, feel bad for feeding the behemoth.
Tick.
Go to the bank, pay some money in... but what's this? A music channel plays apathy on the screen that once showed the BBC news. I ask the man behind the desk about the channel change.
"It's too gloomy."
Ha! Too gloomy for you maybe. Was it not too gloomy when people started dying at the hands of NATO in Iraq or Afghanistan? Was it not too gloomy when Madeleine McCann went missing? 
Men, women and children dying.
Tick.
Banks start loosing money. Quick! Turn it off! Turn it off! 
"People have a right to know". 
I walk away.
Tick. 

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Thursday, 15 January 2009

The Dream

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A baby is born to a dead mother.
A baby is born with her genetic code programmed to avoid the shadow of breast cancer. Flat screen displays in MacDonald's, gaming with multiple people in multiple time zones, satellite navigation in your car, smart phones and Ipods as fast as you PC five years ago. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. 
Think America in the 50's, think Star Trek. A time, a place where technology is thought to solve the problems of humanity. Greed is out-shone by transporters, warp drive and a dream of nuclear power. An ideal of shiny things and common goals. 
No.
Not here.
Not here where Gaza runs red with the blood of Palestinian children. Not here where Hamas refuses to negotiate with a government it neither recognises nor wants compromise. The absolute and total destruction of Israel. The absolute and total destruction of Hamas and its supporters. You choose, You decide.
Can't?
Welcome to the modern world, welcome to how its always been. Welcome to how it will always be. Welcome to humanity...

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Wednesday, 7 January 2009

The Duelist

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It took the best part of a decade to develop the Bugatti Veyron. When Ferdinand Piech turned his imperial eye on the culturally rich but financially poor French supercar maker he had a dream. He would instigate the creation of a hypercar that would categorically put everything else in the shade. It would be his legacy, Volkswagen's technical statement and quite possibly the zenith of what could be done with the internal combustion engine. Now very much in the autumn of its life. 
In the beginning three main technical foundations were laid. 
It would have 1000PS. 
It would be capable of 400kph. 
It would meet all of the same quality standards that a Volkswagen Polo has to achieve.
Whilst the first two are difficult, when coupled to the third you, as an engineer, are faced with an almost impossible task. Just think. You go and buy a brand new Polo from a dealer. It is guaranteed by Volkswagen not to go wrong for three years or 60,000 miles. That is three years of everyday drudgery. Hitting that same pothole a bit too hard everyday. Going a bit too fast on the motorway everyday, sitting in traffic for hours every week without over heating, shrugging off freezing temperatures at night and  starting first time in the morning. The modern motor car really is an everyday engineering miracle. Now imagine doing that with a Ferrari. Now double the power of said supercar and with it quadruple the complexity. When all was said and done and production model number 001 rolled off the line the project had cost Volkswagen so much that for every unit produced it is estimated that between 2 to 4 million Euros is lost. So you win the lottery /work very hard / inherit the family estate, walk into a Bugatti dealership and buy a Veyron. By doing that you've just cost Volkswagen in the region of 3 million Euros. 
Here's another thing. In the Alsace, where the Veyron is carefully constructed, it snows on average 1 day in a year. Now, the local authority, council, whatever prefers salt for its icy roads and duly peppers (salts) its roads during the cold season. In the best spirit of car making Bugatti like to take every Veyron produced for a gentle (really?) drive a round the local roads. When the roads are salted they could just do the same, bring the car back in, put it on a ramp and pressure wash the underside, getting rid of any unsightly salt that could cause future corrosion. No one would ever know. Instead 14 gentlemen from the Alsace load the car and themselves onto a transporter and support vehicles and travel to the south of France where they do the bedding in there. 
In many ways this is an amazing, glorious testimony to the sheer determination of Ferdinand Piech. After all, almost all of the great achievements in the relatively short history of humankind have been driven by single-minded men. On the other hand, and this is where I find a point of conflict, a dualism within myself, it is criminally wasteful. For every Veyron produced how many schools could have been built in Nigeria? How many courses of medicines could have been put into the hands of those 1 in 5 that suffer from AIDS in Africa? What about farming subsidies in Columbia or disaster relief in central Asia? Don't even get me started on political determination within the African Union. 
The Veyron is a wide eyed achievement. It is something that inspires, awes and upsets me all in equal measure. It is the same as the tanks that rumbled through Stroud train station the other day. As a fully grown adult I actually ran back into the station to watch those magnificent machines being marched past atop their own cars. I wanted to pilot them, to fire them, to use them in anger, but I also had to quell a desire to throw stones at them, call them names, sabotage them in some way.

This then is where A Slice Of The Now Splits. The current affairs blog will continue every Wednesday (or there abouts) but it will now be joined by a second blog that will celebrate all things machine.
I wish you and yours a happy new year. 


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